“I Passed!”

Dear WRC,

I passed!

Most of you know at this point that toward the beginning of January I was back in Holland, MI for the final residency of my Doctor of Ministry program through the Eugene Peterson Center for Christian Imagination at Western Theological Seminary. This time our agenda for the week was quite simple: it was time to defend our doctoral projects. “Doctoral defense” is a term from the guild that probably doesn’t help you to imagine quite what happened. We generally assume that if someone is on defense, then someone else must be on the offensive, working to attack and poke holes. Instead of these metaphors taken from battle, we were invited to take up the metaphor of pilgrims returning from their journeys to celebrate and bear witness to all they had seen and experienced along the way. While all the appropriate academic rigor was maintained, that week was an opportunity to celebrate with each other and share what wisdom we had picked up along the way.

I was the first to present on Tuesday. I’m pretty sure that was the best slot available—I had recovered from the travel, picked up a few tips from the brave souls who went on day one, but could still get it out of the way early in the week and before everyone’s first cup of coffee wore off. I had 20 minutes to share from the 125 pages I’ve written, and then the faculty and other students had 25 minutes to ask follow up questions and clarifications. At the end of the day, the faculty would retreat into the dark catacombs of the seminary somewhere to discuss the day’s projects and return a little while later with their determination. On Tuesday afternoon, January 9th , I passed without revisions and now need only to submit my project for a review of its formatting by the library and walk in graduation on April 27th to receive my Doctorate in Ministry!

It’s weird to be finished, if I’m honest. I’m feeling a lot of things about it. I’m not necessarily relieved to be done—this program was a joy and a gift on so many levels and I’d love to keep it going. I’m honestly a little sad it’s over. My friend’s wife has come to call our residencies “Pastor Summer Camp” because he returns home every time with a big smile on his face and tells her all the new stories of these friends he spent the week with. I’ve written before about the gift of these friendships, but that isn’t all I’ll miss. This program has been a holy space. I’ve met God in all the readings and conversations and work. Eugene’s writing and our Director, Winn’s, blessings have helped to name a hunger—a longing—as well as the reality of God’s presence. I am so blessed to have been part of this! What a gift of grace it has all been. At the end of it all I’m feeling grief tangled up in gratitude and joy and hopefulness.

One thing I wasn’t really feeling, though, was pride. I don’t know if it’s my midwestern upbringing, the fact that I’m a middle child, or what, but I have to confess that when I returned home and was met with such exuberance from you all at the news that I had passed, I was taken aback. For whatever reason I hadn’t really given myself permission to celebrate what I had done, to take pride in it. On one level I was just so close to it for so long that now that it’s done, it’s hard to zoom out and get a sense of the whole. On another I may be so allergic to self-promotion that I end up at self-deprecating. Who knows, but when one of you asked if we’d do anything to celebrate together, my first thought was, “Why?” You helped me to come around, though, so, why not!? I’m so grateful for your excitement and pride in me; it’s helped me find excitement and pride myself. I haven’t really talked to Sam about this yet, but we should totally throw a party! I want to celebrate what God has done; I want to rejoice with you. I want to mark this three-year journey as grace, as a gift.

Celebration, itself, is a witness, you know. Jesus was known to hang out at all the best parties. I have a friend who loves to say that Christians should throw the best parties. We should, not because we should embrace debauchery, but because we have more to celebrate! We are those who have seen the deep darkness of our situation, and yet know that this story is a comedy, not a tragedy. It’s no coincidence that the Kingdom of God, itself, is so often described as a raging party.

So, after graduation in April, let’s throw one. A party to rage against the darkness. A party to rejoice in the grace of God. A party to celebrate all that God has done through this doctoral program, and all that God will continue to do in our life together.

Details to follow.

In Christ,

Pastor Andy